IS my child normal is a question parents often ask themselves, while deep down knowing that there is no “normal”.

But, when children display behaviour parents perceive as out of kilter with their peers, or are confronted with bullying and peer pressure, it is a difficult decision for parents to decide that the child may need professional help.

So, when should parents seek the help of a psychologist or a counsellor?

According to one child psychologist consulted for this story, children are more resilient than we realise - we just need to give them time to adjust.

If the “problem” is still affecting the child after about six months, then further action could be considered, says psychologist Michelle R.

“Most children will have some emotional or behavioural changes as a result of the natural ups and downs of life, such as family changes, bullying and the changing demands of school,” Michelle said.

“However, with love and support at home, they will cope and adjust to most of these changes in the short term.”

Michelle said parents could seek advice from professionals if their child’s issue does not improve in six months’ time.

“Speak with your child’s teacher about what you have observed and obtain their feedback. Teachers have a good awareness of the varied age-appropriate behaviours of children.

“You can also speak with a paediatrician or general practitioner about any concerns you have for your child’s behaviour or emotional well-being.”

If parents still feel they need a psychologist for their child, your GP or paediatrician will refer you to one best suited to your child’s needs.

What can you expect from a psychologist?

Each psychologist will have their own process for how they manage referrals for children. In most cases, the psychologist will want to meet with the parents to discuss their concerns for their child and obtain more information on the child’s history.

Michelle said psychologists working with children will incorporate play and make therapy activities fun and engaging.

“It is important that you are involved in the process and attend appointments with your child, even if you do most of the time in the waiting room,” she said.

But the real work begins at home

The psychologist may have recommendations for parents regarding behaviour management strategies to utilise at home, environmental changes to make the child feel more comfortable, as well as reminding the child to utilise the strategies taught directly to them in session.

• Di Bartok, journalist and mum of two.